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Day 24: The Road Less Traveled

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The Lord will surely comfort Zion

and will look with compassion

on all her ruins; he will make her

deserts like Eden, her wastelands

like the garden of the Lord.

Joy and gladness will be found in her,

thanksgiving and the sound of singing.

(Isaiah 51:3)

 

Have you ever realized that you don’t really notice something until

you want it? A new car? Everywhere. New shoes? Everywhere. Engagement

ring? All of your friends have one. Baby?

Given to everyone. Else.

My first two years of infertility were some of the most difficult,

bitter times of my life. God seemed to be raining down little embryos into

OTHER bodies, but not to mine. While it was hard for my husband as

well, he tried to help by telling me that one woman’s pregnancy did not

impact our lives. He was right (I didn’t care). I started to take it personally

whenever another person showed up “preggers” (ugh) and would throw

myself a pity party after many baby showers. I always, ALWAYS had at

least one unsuspecting person I took my anger out on internally (I was

really gunnin’ for “Christ Follower of the Year” here).

I cried. A lot. I prayed. A lot. I asked over and over for God to take

the pain away. He didn’t. Not until I learned that He was going to make

something beautiful out of it all did I start to let go (slightly) of the

bitterness.

He took our parenting road in a different direction. Having kids for

us meant travel, time, shots, and many, many doctor visits. It meant being

away from our families during Christmas in freezing cold Russia where

Christmas doesn’t happen until January 7. It meant sacrifice.

Surprisingly, a crazy thing happened through the five-year journey

to our four children. I realized that the pain and sacrifice meant something

else. It meant coming to love people groups we had never known.

It meant traveling to new places and trying new foods. It meant opening

myself up to the pain of others, something I wasn’t very good at in my

previously charmed life. God wove our story into His plan, both for our

lives and the lives of others.

The end result has been the beautiful shaping of our family. We

have four children from three different sets of genetic parents, all siblings

because of God’s grace. Watching how they interact, how close they are,

how great their love…it is simply beyond words. Had we taken a different

turn anywhere along the road, they would not have each other.

God took the barren wasteland of my spirit and replaced it with

a spirit of Thanksgiving. My bitterness is gone, though it was a process

over many years. I praise my Heavenly Father for sending me reminders

throughout the day when I start taking my family for granted.

- Rachel Key -

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